Hello one and all! The blog has been updated once again. Don't miss the pictures at the bottom of each entry. Also, this web site features a few original compilation of music by myself and the esteemed Sir Steven Paul Barmash. Enjoy the blog and make sure you Click here to check out the music. BLOG TIME August 23 2022 Well, I have been living in Solivita for slightly over a year. Earlier this month Lottie and I went on our first vacation since moving here. We drove 18 hours over the course of two days to the Jersey shore. The weather was great. It only rained once during the two weeks we were there...I had forgotten it doesn't rain every afternoon up north. Dry weather--ALL DAY LONG--I almost couldn't handle it! I also forgot how cold the ocean could be up north, and this year it was one of the coldest I remember. There were only two days I could bring myself to dive into the water and swim for a few minutes. So I ask, what do you call a person that drives about 1,100 miles to vacation at a beach with bone chilling water when he could have simply driven 90 minutes to either the Gulf Coast, or the Atlantic Seaboard and enjoy their respective nice warm water? Hmm, does the word "idiot" come to mind? Despite the water temperature, I had a great time. It was a family get together and that was what was important. At least that's what I kept telling myself when my feet turned purple, and the bone chilling pain shot through my toes. And talking about pain... As I sit here banging away at the keyboard with my two fingers--yes, I type with two fingers (I also hit the keys so hard you would think a woodpecker was in the room) my arms are killing me. When I first woke up and felt the pain I immediately got depressed. Typical old person thoughts raced through my head..."ugh, I hate getting old"..."if it isn't a pain in my leg, it is a pain in my arm"..."maybe I will take some Ibuprofen"..."nah, better take Tylenol, Ibuprofen gives me the runs"..."it sucks to be old"... --DING DING DING-- "Whoa there young man", I suddenly tell myself. (It's funny how quick I go from being an old man to a young man in my mind.) "There is a good reason your arms and shoulders hurt--you pushed a golf cart home from the Palms yesterday. That's nearly a mile, and a lot of it is up hill. Damn, you must be in great shape if your arms only hurt as little as they do!" Yes, our golf cart's battery ran out of juice a mile from our house. The indicator went from approximately 15% power to DEAD in about thirty seconds. WTF? 15% power should last about ten minutes and take me at least 3 miles...not 30 seconds and a few hundred feet! There were a lot of options to get the cart home, but being the idiot I already established I am, I chose the most difficult option--I told Lottie I will push the cart home. So, with Lottie sitting behind the wheel to steer, I planted my feet at the back and began pushing, and pushing, and pushing. The pace was good. I was making great progress...for about a minute or so, and then I felt the effects of San Clemente Avenue's slight uphill slope. My perky pace petered out to a slow crawl, and Happy Howie became Sad Howie. Lottie knew from the start this was not a good plan. She had come up with a few alternative solutions. But what did I do? I stubbornly refused to consider her ideas. (No hate mail please.) Being the sweet woman she is, rather than saying "I told you so" Lottie popped up from behind the wheel, and started to push and steer from the front side of the cart. Without Lottie in the cart, and assisting with the push, things began going well again. But her steering from outside the cart left something to be desired. Even people driving "under the influence" would have been appalled. It wasn't until we turned off of San Clemente Avenue and onto Pacific Ridge Road I realized we were doomed. It is uphill with twists and turns. There was no way the two of us were going to finish the half mile plus push ahead of us without one of our hearts bursting open. SIDEBAR - Not only was it about 85 degrees, and extremely humid, we had just both competed in the Smasher's first Ladders Pickleball Tournament a half hour earlier. So, as I stood there, ready to reluctantly tell Lottie she was right (with my head hanging low like a five year old child who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar)--and this was not a good idea--along came the Calvary in the guise of one, Mick Gould! Mick Gould was our knight in shining armor. He deserves the Good Samaritan Award of Solivita for helping Lottie and I push our golf cart with its drained battery from the entrance of Verona to our house slightly over a half a mile away. He also played in the Smasher's first Ladders Pickleball Tournament (he won Silver for his division). So, he was pooped as well. Mick, Lottie and I thank you for your kindness, and for being so helpful. People like Mick inspire me. Unfortunately, I run hot and cold, and I know many other people that are the same way. I can be nice and helpful one day, and the next day I might exhibit behavior that is unacceptable to me. As my oldest daughter has often said, I can be "a hot head", and that is not who I want to be. I have talked with many people here, and quite a few of us are trying to reinvent ourselves, and become better people. The last thing any of us need in our lives at this point, is drama. So, if I have ever said something, or behaved in a way that was not nice to you, please let me know so I can apologize to you face to face. But Lottie, you are not included--you knew what you signed up for many years ago. JK! Anyway, I want to end this blog with one last shout-out. This is to my good buddies Jim and Shellie. You both have very nice hearts and are two of the sweetest people I ever met. You both inspire me to be a better person. I thank you for helping me wrestle with difficult issues. You are good friends. And as I told you privately, the advice I get from you, Lottie, and my girls (plus few other old friends) means a lot to me because It Takes A Village To Raise A Howie and without you, the village would not be complete! Here are some pictures...maybe you will see yourself in one of them. Group Shot Of Tournament Participants. Vacation Shot Taken At Ocean City NJ Baby Parade. Our Good Friends, Shellie and Jim! Once again, I hope you enjoyed the blog entry. Catch you next month. But if you didn't read my older entries, keep scrolling and reading! And don't forget to listen to my music. Click here to check out the music. July 11 2022 As always, this blog entry will start one way and take a ninety degree turn from serious to light hearted as you continue reading. This month marks my one year anniversary as a Solivita (and Florida) resident. In the short time I am here I have grown and changed into a person my friends and relatives back north would not recognize. Living here has been a truly rewarding and liberating experience because of the friends and acquaintances I have made, and the sense of community that Solivita provides if you are willing to accept it. Ten years ago I wrote a letter to my daughters, and in it I wrote the following. "As I get older with each passing year I realize the importance of happiness. On the one hand life is not short, yet it will pass much faster than you realize. And as you get older, you tend to reflect how you have spent the passing years. Since, as far as we know, we only get one shot at life, it would be a shame if you looked back on your life many years from now with regret. My main message to you is to enjoy your life. Enjoy each and everyday. Granted, you have to make some compromises along the way, but weigh your choices and choose the path that is best for you. Whether it is relationships, vocation, where you live or anything of consequence, make sure you are choosing what is best for you, and what makes you happy. And if you are not happy, change the situation. Don’t let comfort, fear of change or what others may say dictate your actions, be guided by your happiness factor. Although it is cliché, today is always the first day of the rest of your life, and you make a choice each and everyday what your life will become. Granted, there are times that we have no control. If you are in the wrong (or right) place at the wrong (or right) time a significant life changing event may occur. But for the most part, we control our destiny. We are making choices all the time, consciously and subconsciously, and those choices pave our path. One never knows what the ultimate outcome of a choice will be, and it is important to never look back with regret. There is no way of knowing what would have happened if you made a different choice. People tend to believe...if I only did that, life would be so much better now. That is not true. It may have been better, but it could have been worse, or exactly the same for that matter. Quite frankly, if you do not like the outcome of choices you make as you live your life, deal with it and move on. Always look ahead, and never behind. You should only look back to learn from the past, not to beat yourself up emotionally." Well, I still subscribe to the same thoughts today, and that in part is what brought me and my wife to Solivita a year ago. We were looking for changes, and wanted to move forward on our journey of life. And for us, one year in Solivita has been good. We are rejuvenated, we know more people than we ever did before, we are both participating in activities we never dreamed we would do, and most importantly, for me, I have overcome my cynophobia...fear of dogs! Yep, after all this serious pontificating that is where I am going with this blog entry...life here in Solivita cured me of my fear of dogs. No great epiphany. No mind blowing revelations. No cosmic understanding of life or the universe. Just desensitized and cured of my fear of dogs. I had a fear of dogs my whole life. Big dogs, little dogs, friendly dogs, aggressive dogs. I even feared the most docile and trained dog of all--The Seeing Eye Dog. You could not get me near a dog. I wouldn't knowingly enter a home with a dog in it. I even twitched if I looked at a picture of a dog. And then I moved here to Solivita, where dogs are everywhere. Even where they shouldn't be! Whether I am walking about, riding my bike, in my golf cart, fishing in a pond...even playing pickleball, there are dogs. And ironically, the bocce courts, which I go to three times a week, is a hop, skip and a jump from where? The Solivita dog park! Oh, I am not bothered at all by the snakes, armadillos, gators, wild boars, raccoons, cranes, wild turkeys or any of the other animals I have come across here in Solivita. But getting used to the dogs--the cute, pretty, fancy dogs on retractable leashes that live in Solivita, that was a challenge. But I am proud to say after a year of living here I am a new man when it comes to dogs. Earlier this month I went into a friend's home who has two dogs and I did not hyperventilate, sweat, shake, or run away. I actually let the dogs sniff and size me up, and even braver for me, I petted the dogs and made nice to them...rather than punting them away like a football, as I would have done in the past. Believe me, that was a big step for me. So, now that I have conquered my fear of dogs, what do I hope to accomplish during my second year here? I hope to find a doctor that I like. A doctor that is good, and who won't keep me waiting an excessive amount of time in the waiting room. One of the main reasons I hate going to a doctor's office is the wait. I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last time a doctor saw me timely. Is it an ego thing? After all, if you meet a doctor at a party he or she is introduced as Doctor "So And So", not Bill or Mary or even Mr or Mrs or Ms "So And So". It is always Doctor "So And So". No one introduces me as Retired And Loving It Hirsch, or my friend Herbert as Disney Employee Smith. But doctors, they get the special introduction. So, they are doctors, big fucking deal. And what is it about doctors that give them the right to schedule you for a 10:00 AM appointment, knowing full well they won’t see you before 10:30 AM? Are they trying to tell us they are better than we are, and they will see us when they are good and ready? Hey doctor, my time is just as valuable as yours! What is really pitiful is that many doctors have a full staff working with them…a receptionist, doctor’s assistant, a nurse, and who knows what other people are behind that counter…and yet, even with the whole entourage they still can’t organize their timing. At least one of them should be able to keep them on track. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that sometimes emergencies arise, or a patient has unexpected complications that throws the doctor off schedule, but all the time? After being in practice for a while a doctor should be able to schedule patients appropriately…if the doctor can’t predict such a simple thing as the amount of time needed for the average patient how can I have confidence the doctor can predict what is wrong with me after I describe my mysterious symptoms? Honestly, I don’t even have much faith in doctors. I am leery of any professional that has to have millions of dollars in malpractice insurance. The way I see it, if someone is going to slice my chest open, I want that person to be so confident that he or she declined malpractice insurance. I want my doctor to be so good she or he would say, "Insurance, I don't need no damn insurance!" I would be happy if my doctor was just half as good (and this is a true story) as the doctor I read about many years ago. There was a Swedish man who complained of stomach pains for 25 years and was found to have a wooden stick with sharp edges lodged in his bowels. He was actually admitted to the hospital more than 100 times over the years for the pain he was experiencing. Imagine, it took more than a hundred visits to a hospital before a surgical team finally found and removed the object that caused him pain, which was a 2-1/2 inch long wooden stick resembling a toothpick with sharp edges. So, like I said earlier, as I embark on my quest for a new doctor I hope to find a doctor that is half as good as the surgeon that discovered the stick. Yes, I want to have the type of doctor who would find a stick lodged in my body after 100 other doctors failed! On that note I wish you all a happy summer, and I will write again in about a month or so. Here are some pictures spanning my first year here...maybe you will see yourself in one of them. And a special note to Ann Gevinson Brenner. Thank you for always having such nice things to say to me about this blog. I truly appreciate it. It means lot to me! The front of our humble house. Not only is it pretty to the eyes, the community does all the yard work! Pickleball is a big part of our life. This picture was taken during last October's Social Halloween Tournament.
But there is more to living here than pickleball. There are parties of all kinds. This picture was taken at a neighborhood street party, which featured live music by a pretty good cover band called The Relics! And we have parades, festivals and fireworks throughout the year. Lots of ponds to fish, but just beware of the snakes and gators! But it always comes back to pickleball! Once again, I hope you enjoyed the blog entry. Catch you next month. But if you didn't read my older entries, keep scrolling and reading! And don't forget to listen to my music. Click here to check out the music. ! BTW--This is a link to the story about the man with the stick in his belly! https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/06/23/Man-had-stick-in-bowels-for-25-years/57961308846787/ June 16 2022 When I first began drafting this latest blog entry I thought it would be fun to make it a photo journal. My intent was to hop on my bicycle, and shoot pictures of places in my development, and insert witty captions under the pictures. Quite naturally, those who know me for a long time, know the pictures would not be run of the mill photos such as "Here is Howie bench pressing two pounds in our gym." It would be more along the line of, "Here is Howie running his butt off as he is being chased by a wild boar in his backyard." But lo and behold, life threw me a curve ball this week, (as it often does), and I am currently isolated at home, in our guest room, with Covid 19. To be quite honest, I am surprised it took me so long to get Covid 19. I come in contact with dozens, if not hundreds of people almost daily. In the past few months I have flown on airplanes, I have gone to parties, I have been at Disney World, I am out and about day and night, and other than the times I was flying I do not wear a mask. And now I am sick. My family is very concerned and worried I have Covid 19 because I am seventy years old, I have COPD, I have heart valve issues and I have high blood pressure. I, on the other hand am not concerned at all. Getting Covid 19 gives me great material for my blog. I wasn't actually looking forward to riding around the neighborhood in 90 degree weather shooting pictures for the blog, or getting chased by a wild boar for that matter. I felt like crap yesterday, but today I feel terrific. Of course things can go down hill in a matter of days, but I do have an appointment to get some antiviral medication, which hopefully will make my recovery quick and easy. So, right now I will keep a positive attitude. I am more concerned about my friends, who I have been in contact with recently. Many are older than me. Many have more medical issues than me. And many have trips and vacations planned. Me? I will actually enjoy being home for a week, and having my wife at my beckon call. "Honey, please bring me a cup of coffee." "Babe, please stop off at the library on your way home from the store buying me food and tissues and pick up that book of mine that is on hold." "Oh, sweetie, be a doll and run a bath for me, my big toe hurts a bit and it can use a good soak." There are a lot of perks to having a mild case of Covid 19 these days! Seriously though, that is not my style. I don't like being pampered or having anyone take care of me. I am just the opposite. When I am sick I want to be left alone. If you don't bother me, I am a happy tyke. But my wife, Lottie, is a giver and wants to bend over backwards taking care of me. Can I do this? Do you want that? Can I go to the store for you? No! No! No! My take--If I want or need something I will let you know. All I need is to be left alone. Does that stop her from asking? Not at all! I realize she means well, but I really like to be left alone. I am good on my own. Right now I have my laptop, my tablet, my phone, a book, snacks, drinks and drugs. I don't need anything else. I am happy. And best of all, I have no responsibilities right now, nor do I need to do things I don't want to do. "Oh, the what-is-it needs repairs? Sorry, I am sick." "There is an issue with the screen door? Sorry, I am sick." "Our relative, the one I don't like is, on the phone and wants to talk to me? Sorry, I am sick!" I can't remember the last time I was sick, or had any type of excuse to be home and do absolutely nothing. For me, having to stay in the house for a week is wonderful. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought being retired and living in a gated community would be exhausting. But it is! I am up and out playing pickleball at 7:30 AM on many days, and I often end my last game of pickleball at 9:00 PM. Between that start at 7:30 AM and end at 9:00 PM there are often doctor runs, going to the store, doing things around the house and of course my 12:00 PM pickleball game in the heat of the afternoon Florida sun. Then there is going to the pool, playing bocce, hanging with friends and neighbors, playing cards, games, and many times...drinking sessions until 1:00 AM or later. It is a tough life! So, as you can see, in many ways, getting Covid 19 was a good thing for this old man (as long as I survive it). I get to relax and have a break from doing a shit load of fun stuff. Tough life, isn't it? Before I close this entry, one serious note. I may be making light of this situation, but it is serious. I was very sick the first day an a half. I do not wish it on anyone. I am vaccinated and boosted, and I can't imagine what would have happened to me if I weren't. I know a few other people that got Covid 19 recently, and one who tested positive the same day as me. I wish all of us a speedy recovery. I also did my best to let everyone know I tested positive, and I worry about my wife and two close friends of mine that spent a lot of time with me in close quarters recently. This may not be the same Covid 19 from two years ago, but people are still dying from it. Here in Florida cases have increased by 10 percent from the average two weeks ago and deaths have increased by 64 percent. So, please be safe, be smart and stay healthy! May 24 2022 Before I begin this entry I want to give a shout out to Pauline Doorn, who is both a pickleball friend and one of the nicest, and most pleasant persons I have met here to date. She also works at the Palms' clubhouse in our community...she is the sweet lady that is always smiling, always soft-spoken (unlike me), and just a doll of a person. Pauline, thank you for being you. And, if you ever find out how we can create our own Palm's music playlist don't forget to let me know. I am itching to get creative. Well, it has been less than a year since Lottie and I moved to Florida, yet it feels like forever, (in a nice way). I guess Polk County also feels we have been here forever since they just sent Lottie a notice to appear for jury duty, Wow, that was quick! I think we lived in Baltimore County, Maryland, for at least ten years before either one of us received a Jury Duty Notice, and here, in less than a year...wham, bam, we're taking you ma'am! Could it be because we are old and they want to get us in the jury pool before we are dead? I think so. I think they are taking no chances. They want to get us before we croak. And after reading the notice, I learned why. The Polk County Jury Duty Notice specifically states, "By law, you are ineligible to serve if [you are] Deceased." It's the law. You are ineligible to serve on a jury if you have already passed away. I am not making this up. So, if you are dead, and reading this, and were sent a notice to serve on jury duty, you can call them and be excused from serving because YOU ARE DEAD! Yep, they want to get us before we die. It is on the official notice!!! I am not sure who drafted the notice, but that is not the only insane thing printed on it. It also says you may bring books and magazines to jury duty, but newspapers are not allowed. First off, who the hell buys newspapers anymore? And number two...I repeat, who the hell buys newspapers anymore? I know there are a lot of old people in Florida, but we are not so old that we do not know how to read the news on our phone. After all, not all of us still have flip phones! And attire...there is even a rule for attire. You must dress in business casual attire. That's right, no shorts, no jeans. no t-shirts, no tank tops, no sandals...geeze, you need to actually get dressed up to serve on a jury. Hey Polk County, this is Florida, not Monte Carlo. You're summoning us for jury duty, not asking us out on a date to the Ritz! If Lottie calls them to get excused from serving I hope the conversation goes something like this, And let us not forget the Polk County jury SECURITY rules. The notice states you cannot bring utensils. No utensils? Damn, I think Lottie was planning to cook some soup and grill a burger for her lunch. Sorry Lottie, you have to leave the ladle and spatula home and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. But before you do, check the fine print, they might have a rule that states you can only bring in sandwiches made on pumpernickel bread! Well, there you have it, some Florida craziness. Catch you again in about a month with my one year update. Until next time...and don't forget to Click here to check out the music. Polk County Jury Duty Notice--Don't Show Up If You Are Dead. May 1 2022 I haven't done a blog entry for a long time. It isn't because I don't have things to write about, on the contrary, I am overflowing with things to talk about. I have been a bit busy, and a lot has happened over the past few months. I recently turned 70 years old, my youngest daughter, Jennifer, was married, and my mother celebrated her 100th birthday. Those are some biggies. Yet, each time I sit down to write this blog I get a bit morose and paralyzed. A sadness sweeps over me because I have come to understand transitioning to a new life is not easy, no matter how much you may look forward to it, or are willing to embrace it. Transitioning is a double edged sword. On the one hand, you can be extremely happy with your new life, but on the flip side you can also lose a lot. And unfortunately one of the things you may lose in the process are old friends...which is sad. So, after nine months of living in Florida, Lottie and I are happy, busy, and truly embracing our new lifestyle. Yet at the same time we see our previous northern lifestyle and contacts slowly fading away. Places are becoming passing memories, and we are losing connections with old friends, and even family. I guess it is all about location, location, location. The further you are physically from people, the less you tend to see them. And when you move a thousand miles or more away, it is only natural it will effect your relationships, which is why many older adults who have grandchildren try to stay in close proximity with them. Distance breeds strangers. In my case, the old relationships are slowly slipping away. It has become a one sided effort on my part to keep the relationships alive. As Dr. Hirsch from Yale University once stated, “...relationships are important...they take work and are worth that work and investment.” Unfortunately, I am seeing not everyone is willing to put forth the same effort as I, and that is the beginning of the end. In the song "Don’t Speak", by No Doubt, there is a line sung; "It looks as though, you’re letting go, and if it’s real, well I don’t want to know." And that is exactly how I feel. The song resonates because I see many of my, and particularly Lottie's friendships fading away. And although I know it is happening, I want to remain in denial. When we first moved down here, one of the first persons I met was in the military. I remember him telling me how he dealt with the constant reassignments he experienced throughout his career. He would be settled in a place, make friends, get to know people, and then a year or two later he was reassigned. His life was a continuous reset. And he said, when he moved here it was just another reset. So, that is how I am looking at it now. As my old friendships are starting to fade away I am doing a reset with a bunch of new people, and embracing the here and now. And there is a lot to embrace. Firstly, I am a child again, and that is a good thing. I am looking at life with a renewed awe and wonder that I thought was lost many years ago. For instance, I could not wait to drive my golf cart through the Venezia Tunnel. I anticipated it with a child-like giddiness! Yes, a little background is necessary here. Lottie and I live in a large gated community with approximately 5,000 single family homes. Parts of the community are separated by a busy road, Marigold Avenue. In order to let residents get from one side of the Marigold Avenue to the other by golf cart, the developer built a tunnel, the Venezia Tunnel. As Lottie and I carted about the development during our first nine months of living here, we saw the signs for the Venezia Tunnel almost daily, but we never checked it out. I am originally from NYC. My family did not own a car. I grew up taking trains wherever I went. NYC trains run both on elevated and underground tracks. As a child, my parents would ride in the first car of the train, so I could stand up front next to the motorman's booth and look out the front of the train during our regular hour and a half ride from Coney Island to Washington Heights. It was great entertainment for a child--standing up front watching as the train went through tunnels switching tracks and passing other trains in the dark, and then barreling out of the tunnel into the stations and seeing the people on the platforms getting ready to board the train. Back then, the trains were not air conditioned. In the summer they were hot. To cool off, many a motorman would open the booth's door, and I could watch him drive the train--seeing everything from his perspective. Trains and tunnels were cool to me. And they still are. So, those signs for the Venezia Tunnel taunted and tempted me for months. Yet, I never took the detour to the tunnel, until last week. I needed to go over to Venezia to help a friend. I knew that meant I was finally going to go through the tunnel, and I became giddy. Lottie I said, "Finally, the day has come. We are going to go through the Venezia Tunnel. I am so excited!" I made sure Lottie had her phone's camera ready because this was something I wanted to document with pictures. I could feel my adrenalin flowing. My heart was racing. I was going to ride through the Venezia Tunnel. I was getting light headed. The closer we got to the sign for the tunnel, the more nervous I got. What would it be like? How long was it? Did it have lights? Did it twist and turn? So many questions! Now, most people that live here in my community, particularly those that live in Venezia, ride through the tunnel all the time. But for me, it was my virgin ride, and I had no idea what to expect. The closer we got, the more I asked Lottie to shoot pictures for me. The path leading to the tunnel made the experience even more mysterious because it was a long, twisty, turning path off the main road. With every turn another goose bump appeared on my arm. Lottie was shooting picture after picture. As we approached our final turn before reaching the tunnel, and seeing it in all of its glory, I took a deep breath. This was it--I was about to see the Venezia Tunnel! From a distance it looked cool. It even had a pole divider so cars could not enter. It was golf cart only. And it was THE BIGGEST LETDOWN EVER! Boo Hiss Boo. I was so bummed, but not Lottie. She thought it was a hoot. It was one of the funniest moments she experienced since we have been living here. She knew I had imagined a majestic tunnel, with twists and turns, and blind curves. She knew I was thinking the Lincoln Tunnel, the Channel Tunnel, The Baltimore Harbor Tunnel...instead it was a little dinky underpass! By the time we got in it, we were leaving it. I would guess it was about fifty feet long. Suffice it to say, she had a good laugh at my expense, and rightly so. Yet, when all was said and done, I couldn't wait for the return trip home! I may have been disappointed by my tunnel experience, but I have not been disappointed by most of the people I have met, particularly those I now call friends, and the experiences we are sharing. Resetting is hard, but a necessary factor of change. Whether you are resetting because of work, or for family obligations, or like Lottie and I are doing--for retirement, or for any other reason...even the passing of a loved one, it is important to move forward and reset. You may lose contact with persons from your past, just don't forget them. They played a role in your life, and you in theirs. But when it is time to reset, it is time to move forward and embrace the new people that come into your life. Remember what you had. Enjoy what you have now. And look forward to what will come next! I will be back again in a few weeks. In the meantime scroll down to check out some new pictures and previous blog entries. Until next time. Howie... Jennifer and Dan about to have first kiss as a married couple. Lottie and I celebrate my mom's 100th birthday. Heading to Venezia Tunnel. Twists and turns and goose bumps, oh my! Our golf cart is about to enter tunnel. Cars driving over tunnel as we enter it. The big reveal, and big letdown :-( Still, driving through the tunnel was cool :-) My life as a child riding the D train in NYC looking out of the first car. And yes, the train pictured above is the type I rode as a child. March 30 2022 Recently I wrote about my dislike of doing grown-up stuff such as making sure bills are paid, taxes are filed accurately, and the car is properly maintained. Those were a few of the examples I cited. Let us now add, "making decisions", to the list of things I don't like doing. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I hate them. I hate making all types of decisions; big or small, important or inconsequential. It doesn't matter what type of decision it is--whether it's for me or for someone else, I simply don't like to make decisions. It isn't that I have a problem making decisions, I just don't like being a decision maker. And when you move to a new home, as Lottie and I recently did, decisions begin to pop up everywhere like a whack-a-mole. Once Lottie and I decided we wanted to move, which was decision number one, we needed to decide where to move, when to move, what community, what house, and on and on and on. Then came the move itself, what moving company, what to keep, what to give away, what to trash and so forth. After the move came furniture hunting...sofa, chairs, stools, rugs, tables, lamps--my head is spinning just thinking about it. Our initial decision to move was easy. We were not leaving family behind, as many people in our new community have done. Deciding to move is a difficult challenge for many people our age, particularly when grandchildren are involved. Once we made our big decision, the decision to move, then the minutiae began to surface and that's when things became difficult, frustrating and simply a pain in the butt. I am repeating myself from prior entries, but when you are old like me, you want things to be easier. Older adults (a nice way to say old farts or seniors) have gone through a life full of decisions... Life is one decision after the other. Right now Lottie and I are in the process of making a fairly big, and costly, decision to extend our lanai. We had multiple contractors at our home, and each gave us different information. They each quoted prices that varied by thousands of dollars. Our heads were spinning, and we were very confused. Before I continue, I want to pivot for a moment. We all know, to some degree what is going on in Ukraine. The Russian invasion of Ukraine is the largest assault on a European state since World War II. I recently listened to a discussion on television and they were saying there have been at least 20,000 deaths and 10,000,000 people displaced in Ukraine. I was listening to this as I was sitting with Lottie in our living room discussing our lanai. The juxtaposition of our conversation and the one on television was not lost on either of us. Putting things into proper perspective is something Lottie and I do. We truly realize how lucky we are to have such trivial, privileged problems and decisions before us, and our hearts go out the the people suffering, not only in Ukraine, but wherever they may be. We return now to our regularly scheduled self indulgent blog story, deciding what to do about our lanai. Being very confused, and not knowing what to do, I turned to social media. Here in our community people are very active on the website NextDoor. So I decided (another damn decision) to do a posting on the site. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew many people in our community had work done on their lanais, so I asked if anyone would tell us about their experience, and what they learned in the process. The response we received floored us. Text messages, phone calls, private messages, and public postings came flying in. Strangers invited us to their homes to see their lanais, and to tell us what they liked, didn't like, who they used, who they would avoid AND many of them even showed us their bills and breakdowns so we could have comparisons when we met with contractors. People were so warm, loving, inviting and open to us. Lottie and I could not believe it. We went to about fifteen homes in two days. Yes fifteen homes, and learned so much from people that we never met before. It was a wonderful experience all in itself, and solidified for us that the decision we made moving to this community was a great one. We haven't made a final lanai decision yet, but we are close. There is still a contractor or two we need to meet. But then it will be decision time. Like I said at the start--decisions, decisions, decisions, they never end. But thanks to all the great people that gave us feedback, making a lanai decision is going to be easier than we first thought. The people here are great. Besides the people who gave us tours of their lanais, we have met wonderful people at the neighborhood pool, on the pickleball courts, at bocce, and just walking to the mailbox. People such as Floyd, who is now as old as I am. Hi, Floyd. We are pretty acclimated now. Although it has only been eight months that we are living here, I feel like a real full time Floridian. Not because I am ready to eat dinner at 4:30 PM. Not because I suddenly drive at 25 MPH in a 55 MPH zone. And not because cast members at Disney call me by my first name when I enter the parks. I feel like a true Floridian because I can't wait for all of the snow-birds to leave and head back north! Although some of the nicest people I have met here are part timers, once they leave things will get a little less crowded. The pool will be emptier, the gym will be emptier, and the pickleball courts will be emptier. Instead of twenty people in the pool, there will be ten. Instead of sitting out a game when I play pickleball, I will get to play game after game. Not a real big change will be coming, but enough to make a difference. Oh, and the gym? Well, I don't go there, but I am certain it will be emptier too! Don't get me wrong. There aren't overwhelming crowds where we live right now, but it will be nicer and quieter once the snow birds leave. It will be more the way I like it. Yet, as the saying goes, I need to be careful what I wish for because less people may mean less activities, less challenges at pickleball, and less people to chat with at the pool. Yes, I did say less people to chat with at the pool. I am sure people back in Maryland, and the family members I haven't seen in a while, are shocked to hear I am concerned there may not be enough people for me to chat with at the pool. "Who is this Howie?" They must be asking. The Howie they know was quiet and a bit anti social. The old Howie might have smiled, and spent a few minutes with you, but mostly he shied away from crowds and all group activities. The new, Floridian Howie is a different animal. Not only will he chat you up, you better be careful because if there is music playing he may grab your arm and swing you around the dance floor. And there is no getting out of it because once the new Howie makes a decision he sticks with it! I will be back again in a few weeks. In the meantime scroll down to check out some new pictures and previous blog entries. Howie is a dancing machine! Our community car show featuring cars Howie will never own. Vendors at car show. Howie got a lot of candy, some beer cozies and a cool shoe-horn/back scratcher. This is a lovely time to visit Epcot. Great topiary and good concerts. Doesn't Epcot look lovely? Waiting for Kool And The Gang to hit the stage. It was a great night, and the concert was awesome! March 8 2022 This entry to the blog is about birthdays, and aging. I picked this subject because I celebrated my birthday last week. I also know a few other people who have celebrated, or will be celebrating, their birthday around now as well. So it is a good time for me to talk about birthdays, but before I do, let me wish happy birthday to Mr. Baum, Drucker, Donna, Floyd and anyone else that is celebrating, or has recently celebrated a birthday. To get started, I celebrated my birthday in The Magic Kingdom at Disney World with Lottie and my oldest daughter, Emily. While there Emily insisted I get a birthday button to wear at the park, which I did. Disney will give you a free button for the asking to advertise everything from birthdays to anniversarys, to it being your first visit, or anything else you can imagine as long as it is G rated. During the day people who noticed my button (mainly Disney employees) would wish me a happy birthday, but there was one greeting I received that stood out from the rest. It was from a young girl, about six or seven years old. I was lost in thought when she came up to me. With a big smile, and in a happy loud voice she said "Happy Birthday". I thought that was so nice. I looked down at her and said, "Why thank you very much." I was about to turn to Lottie and Emily when I noticed her hand was tugging her shirt out towards me. I looked at her shirt and realized she was wearing a birthday button as well. I smiled and said "And a very happy, happy birthday to you too!" She seemed pleased, and then her father came up to me and said, "She has been looking for people wearing birthday buttons to see who else was born today. She doesn't want to go on any rides, she just wants to find people with birthday buttons." I thought that was great. And even though I wasn't actively looking for people wearing birthday buttons, I did see a man wearing a button that was celebrating the same milestone as me. His button didn't say his age, but his custom tee shirt did. Howie proudly wears his birthday button. So, what milestone did I celebrate? Last week I turned seventy! "Wow, I am old", I thought to myself when I woke up that morning. But I also remembered thinking I was old when I turned thirty-five, which was when Lottie was pregnant with Emily. Well, this year as I double up to seventy years, it's Emily's year to turn thirty-five. Looking at the big picture, I wasn't old back then when I turned thirty-five, and it goes to say Emily isn't old now at thirty-five either. And to look at the even bigger picture, compared to my mother, who will be turning one-hundred years old next month, I guess I am still not old, not even at seventy! So, what is old? It is funny, I thought I was old at thirty-five, but I didn't think I was old when I turned fifty. Whereas, this year there are times I feel both old and young. Some days I feel better than ever, and other days I feel like crap. Sometimes I feel much younger than I am, and sometimes I feel like a feeble old man. My take away from all of this is, (besides realizing I am neurotic), is age is simply a number, a marker of our time alive, and that is all. Being old or young is a state of mind. Think old, and you will be old. Think young, and you will be young. It is all about attitude, and having the right frame of mind. The mind is powerful, and it can make you or break you. Lottie had a cousin, Henry, who went blind when he was in his thirties from diabetic retinopathy. He was married, had two young children, and he was living a typical suburban life when he went blind. Truly blind, not just legally blind. I for one, (if I were him), would have become bitter and felt sorry for myself. I probably could not have coped or dealt with, (what I would have considered), such a unfair situation. There is a good chance I would have been mentally and physically paralyzed if that happened to me. But not Henry. Henry pulled himself up by his bootstraps and made the best of a horrible situation. He learned to live life being blind. He went through the process, and received a guide dog. He learned to use assistive computer technology, which in turn allowed him to start a new career. He was mentally strong, had a positive attitude and didn't let his disability get the better of him. When I get the blues or feel sorry for myself I think about Henry, and it helps me get out of my funk. "Be like Henry", I tell myself, "and see the glass half full, not half empty". And when I feel old, I tell myself not to think old, but to think young! I digress. I was talking about birthdays and aging. Longevity runs in my family. My father and all of my grandparents lived into their nineties, my mom (unless she passes in the next few weeks) will hit the one-hundred mark, and I had at least one other relative that made it to one-hundred as well. Which means, (even with having COPD) I may have another twenty to thirty years ahead of me. And to tell you the truth, I am not so sure I like that thought! I am not depressed, suicidal, unhappy or any of those things (just a little neurotic as we learned before). But I am tired. I am tired because seventy years is a long journey and it tuckers you out. No matter who we are, how happy we are, how rich, famous or successful we are, life's journey was, is, and will continue to be tough. Although we have different life experiences, and we have taken different paths on our trip to adulthood, there were universal roads we all traveled during our respective journey. Whether you were a kid raised on a farm, lived in the city, grew up in the suburbs or were a military brat we all experienced the ups and downs of childhood, the awkwardness of adolescence, and of course the many years spent in school and on the job. And if you were in the military, raised a family or took care of an elderly parent there are additional bonds you share with others. I have learned from meeting people from all walks of life, and backgrounds, as much as we think our individual timelines are unique to ourselves, we share more experiences with other people than we can imagine. We have all had good times, bad times, lucky breaks, struggles, heartache, yaddi-yaddi-yadda, during all of our phases of life. Growing up and aging isn't easy. We do what is necessary as we navigate through life and the many curve-balls it throws us. And quite frankly, for me, after seventy years I am getting tired of being a grownup and all the grownup shit I still need to do, and will have ahead of me for years to come. The way I see it, Lottie and I are retired. We paid our dues. We should be selfishly enjoying life. But Noooo, life is always getting in the way of our fun. How dare it! For instance, Lottie and I are on Medicare. When we moved to Florida we spent a heck of a lot of time researching health plans and finding doctors we liked. The first primary physician we selected wasn't a good fit for us, so we searched again and found a physician we liked a lot. Great-terrific-yippie skippie! We found a good doctor that we liked AND is young enough to outlive us. That's important. First off, I don't want an old doctor with shaky hands cutting into me or trying to give me a rectal exam. Secondly, I don't want a doctor that will die before I do because selfishly, I don't want to search for a new doctor in a few years. So, we were happy to find a doctor that will be around a long time and will be able to take care of us for years to come. That was a big, giant check mark on our, "grownup to-do" list, but then... Then by way of the U.S. Postal service life blasted us with a huge, cruel, loud sarcastic laugh, bellowing: ERASE THAT CHECK MARK--NO DOCTOR FOR YOU! Lottie received a letter from her health plan stating our doctor is no longer covered by Lottie's health plan. WTF? Her health plan just became effective January first--two months ago! We spent weeks selecting health plans. It cut into our pickleball time, our TV watching time, our Netflix binge watching time. We consulted a Medicare Specialist, reviewed plans online, talked to health plan representatives, and reviewed material we received in the mail. We had constant headaches and consumed a huge amount of Tylenol as we tried to sort through all of the material. We were proactive, diligent and thorough picking, what we thought was the right plan for Lottie, and had the doctor we both liked. Now, two months later, Lottie needs to either change doctors or change to a new plan that covers the doctor. That is the kind of stuff I am talking about. That is the kind of stuff that makes me tired. Life is always throwing something at you. When you are young you have the energy to deal with it, but when you get older not so much. Not only do I find it tiring, I know it will never end. There will always be something. Today it is the health plan, but over the past couple of months we had issues getting our backyard fence removed, struggles with our lawn service to get sod replaced on our property, ran into problems with a garage door servicing company, and so on. I am tired just thinking about it. I want to have fun. I don't want to deal with grownup stuff. After many weeks of frustration our lawn service came and replaced the dead grass around out house. The lawn was cut and fresh sod was patched into the lawn. In the end they did a great job. I meant to make this a "before and after" shot, but forgot to shoot the "after" pic. I would shoot the "after" pic now, but it is too dark and wet outside - it's 6:00 AM and raining!
Oh, did I mention dementia? Those are just some of the reasons I am not looking forward to another twenty or thirty years. It won't be getting better. My mental and physical abilities are on the decline. It sucks to know I am in the best shape I will ever be in for the rest of my life. And considering the shape I am in, that is sad! My COPD will get worse. My beer belly will get bigger. I won't be able to do WORDLE in 4 or 5 moves. I will be asking people "what did you say?" more often than I do now. I will continue to forget where I put my glasses, keys and wallet. I will lose my killer, spinning pickleball serve. And there was one more thing...uh, oh yea, dementia. I am a realist. That is why I took up bocce. If I need a cane, walker or wheelchair I won't be able to play pickleball, but bocce--I will be able to kill it at bocce. Bocce is great. It is not physically taxing. Anyone can play it. But it takes a lot of skill to become good at it, and that makes it challenging. I am not good at it. I am humbled by the skill set many of the old time players possess. Right now I am among the newer players. Me and Lottie, Jim, Nancy, and Randy are the "kids" of the bocce court, but in ten or fifteen years from now (should we live so long) we will be the old timers. We will be the ones shaking our heads and yelling at the newbies "Hey, you call that bocce? That's not bocce, that's bowling. Mama Mia!" In conclusion, I am not sure if I want to live to one-hundred years old. On the other hand, being old means there are times you can play the "old-card". If you know how to play the "old-card" you can get away with a lot of stuff, and that can be fun. But that's another story for another time. As usual, there are some pictures below, and I added another See-The-Difference puzzle to test your observational skills! Until next time! Henry and his wife Janice at our wedding in 1978. Emily jumping for joy on Main Street because she is with her dad at Disney on his birthday. Lottie and Emily chill in our private dining room at lunch time during our special Keys To The Kingdom Tour at Disney. View of fireworks as we are getting off of Splash Mountain ride. A "See The Difference" puzzle featuring my birthday buddies, Lottie and Emily. This was shot pre-pandemic on our way to Ocean City New Jersey. There are twelve differences in the two pictures. Can you find all of them? February 15 2022 Before I begin today's entry I thank everyone for the positive feedback I have been receiving about this blog. I enjoy writing it, and I am thrilled that so many of you enjoy reading it. Thank you very much. Now, having said that, I did find it interesting how many of you loved reading about my ineptness as a parent. Perhaps you loved it a little too much! Most activities are free or carry a nominal fee for supplies and parties. Things that cost money are shows, dances and gala events--as does Big Money Bingo and Monday Night Trivia. Ah, Monday Night Trivia. Depending who you are, you will either feel totally stupid, or bask in the glory of your brilliance if you attend Monday Night Trivia. Me? I fall into the totally stupid category, whereas Lottie is at the other end of the spectrum. Anyway, enough of this feeling sorry for myself. Lottie and I do all types of recreational activities. In fact, tomorrow night we will go to a free concert at our town center and hang with a bunch of people we know. But life isn't all fun and games here in Florida. Sometimes it is research, research, research. I do a lot of research. I always have been that way, even before computers when it wasn't so easy. A few days ago I was outside tying some orchid vines to the base our Palm trees. Everything was going along smoothly when out of no where something suddenly swooped down and attacked me! Startled, I bounced up like a Jack-In-The-Box from my crouched position, with my arms flailing, and my body twisting about in all directions to determine what the hell was going on. But I saw nothing. All I knew was something swooped into, and bounced off my head and then kept going. What was it? I had no idea. Nothing was in sight. Maybe a lizard, maybe a squirrel, maybe a bird or did I just imagine it all? Reluctant to squat back down to continue my gardening, I quickly gathered my belongings, scurried out from under the tree and found safe haven in my screened in porch. At which point I realized I had scrapes and cuts on my hands from the prickly tree leaves and bark. I must have gotten them as I chicken danced myself away from my attacking enemy--whatever it was. Anyway my heart went a pitter-patter. My adrenaline started to pump. I went into focused alert mode. I was like the prehistoric caveman about to pounce on my prey. Slowly, very slowly I pulled the leaves aside, frond by frond. All was quiet as I peered into the thick, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, a damn stupid bird shot out at me like a speeding bullet, throwing me off balance and again thrusting me into a chicken dance of startled fear. A stupid, stupid bird!
My nemesis, the stupid, stupid bird. Here Is Where I Lose Trivia And Humiliate Myself Weekly! Aerial View Of Some Activities--Softball Field, Four Bocce Courts, Tennis Court, Six Shuffle Board Courts. Our Dining Room Furniture Finally Arrived After Many Months On A Container Ship. YOU WANT ACTIVITIES? WE HAVE ACTIVITIES! BESIDES THE THINGS LISTED BELOW THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF GROUPS POLITICAL-FISHING-SHOOTING-ACTING-ART-MUSIC-DANCING-EATING-TRAVEL-GAMES WHATEVER YOUR INTEREST THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING HERE FOR YOU-WE HOPE TO SEE YOU HERE SOON February 1 2022 So far my blog entries centered on my (and Lottie's) acclimation to Florida. A few people commented the blog allows them to know me a bit better. To be honest, I don't mind revealing myself to others. So, today's entry will be a little different. Rather than talking about our transition to Florida, I will talk a bit about my journey becoming an old man. The entry takes some unexpected twists and turns. I hope you enjoy it. As most of us do, I look in the mirror everyday. Usually there is no change from day to day. I might notice my hair needs a trimming, or it is time for my monthly shave. I have such little facial hair I cannot grow a beard. All I can grow are scattered wisps of hair that look like threads protruding from my cheeks. But every so often I realize the face staring back at me in the mirror is not the same face I saw a while ago. Today was one of those days. The face that stared back looked a lot older to me. Usually I feel old when my body can't do things it did many years ago like popping up and jumping out of bed in the morning. Lately, getting out of bed can be an ordeal. Lottie often wakes up hearing me moaning and groaning as I trudge off to the bathroom. I look like the Frankenstein monster with stiff legs and arms flailing as I mutter "Oil Can" akin to the Tin Man from the Wizard Of Oz. Today, just the simple task of looking at myself in the mirror made me feel old. As most of us do, I usually think of myself as younger than I am, but truth be told, I know that I am old. I am not delusional. I don't kid myself. I wish I weren't old, but I am--and since I am, I do a lot of old people stuff such as reflecting and thinking about the past. Please understand, I am not the type of person that looks back and thinks I would do things differently knowing what I know today. My thought is, if you did things differently years ago it doesn't mean things would have worked out better. They could have worked out worse! Although I do look back at my life, the choices I made, the journey I have taken and where I am now, it is never with regrets--it is what it is. For instance, I never really wanted to have children. I knew if I did have children it would be a burden. As a young man I was irresponsible and self-centered. I didn’t have a lot of money and I wasn’t mature for my age. I knew having children meant I would have to radically change who and what I was. I was not sure if I wanted to change. But Lottie wanted children. She didn’t think about it the same way as I did; she thought about it emotionally. Whereas I knew having children was going to be an economic strain, she knew it would be nice to hold a cute little baby. Whereas I knew having children meant making at least an eighteen-year commitment to raise a child, she knew it would be nice to hold a cute little baby. Whereas I knew having children meant making major lifestyle changes for her and I, she knew it would be nice to hold a cute little baby. In the end, we decided to have children. And I am very, very glad we made that choice. Some of the greatest pleasures I have had in my life come from being a father. The satisfaction, and sense of accomplishment I have from knowing the role I played in raising my wonderful daughters surpasses anything else I have done. But it wasn’t easy for me--I had to grow up overnight and in a sense become a man. Once we decided to have children I took it very seriously. If I was going to be a father, I was determined to do it right. But does every prospective parent think along those lines? I am not so sure. My saving grace was being older (I was 35) when we decided to have children. I know that parenting is hard, and we all make mistakes in the process, but I have shuddered at times seeing other parents interact with their children. I am sure there have been times you felt the same way. Yet when we witness parents handling their children in a way we think is wrong there is nothing we can say or do. If you say something you will be rebuffed with the words, “they are my children, and I will raise them the way I want!” Or in today's world the response may be far worse. Let’s face it, not everyone is smart enough to be a mathematician. Not everyone has the skills to be a race car driver. Not everyone is funny enough to be a comedian. Not everyone has the insight to be a therapist. And dare I say it, not everyone has the ability to be a parent. Having said that, we all have the right to raise our children as we see fit regardless of our parenting skill level or abilities. Fortunately, we as a society do set certain limits, such as not allowing parents to physically abuse their child. But as long as you do not cross the line you can raise your child as you see fit--regardless how incompetent you may happen to be. I find that both curious and understandable because if I want to get a job delivering mail, I must pass a test to prove I am smart enough to do the job, but if I want to raise a human being, no proof of skills required. Yes, I know I am skating into dangerous territory by even suggesting we might be better off if there were a parenting aptitude test you must pass before being allowed to have children. As it stands it doesn’t matter if you have an IQ of 27, you are a convicted child molester, or if you are a junkie with no means of support...you can have a child. It doesn’t matter who or what you are, you have the right to have a child. And when you have that child, you can raise him or her anyway you seem fit, provided you don’t physically endanger the child. “Yes son, you must wear that red and white stove top hat wherever you go. What? Cat In The Hat? I don't give a damn if your friends are making fun of you and calling you the Cat In The Hat. You must wear the hat all the time or you will be punished!” But what if things were different? What if you needed to take a parenting exam before having a child? I wonder if I could have actually passed a parenting skills test, when I was younger if such a thing existed? Would I have been allowed to become a parent? Let's see! Parent Test Question: Your child accidentally smashes her head into an object resulting in a deep gash that spews forth a pool of blood. What do you do? 1- Take your child to the closest hospital’s emergency room. So, what would you do? It is an easy question. The answer is certainly NOT number three. Yet, when this happened to my youngest daughter I actually did number three! Yep, that's right. I cut her hair near the wound, placed a bandage on her head, and told her to go out and play. BUZZZZ---FAILURE---NO PARENTING LICENSE FOR ME I still look back at that day in disbelief. What an idiot I was back then. What was I thinking? Fortunately Lottie was/is and always will be a lot smarter than me. When she became aware of what was going on, and how I was handling it, she threw a look my way that asked "Are you fucking kidding me?" as she grabbed our daughter and ran over to our neighbor who was a nurse. Who in turn exclaimed in panic, “She needs to go to the emergency room NOW!” It turned out my daughter needed, and received a slew of stitches to close up the wound. Luckily for me there was/is no parenting aptitude test. I most certainly would have failed and I never would have raised two girls whom I love dearly, and who, despite having me as a dad, are well adjusted and never needed therapy. Our daughters are four years apart. Four years is not such a long time, and yet those four years made a big difference in how Lottie and I raised them. With the first child everything was new, fresh and exciting. We wanted to be perfect parents, and do everything right. By the time the second child came along the parental excitement that new parents experience was gone...been there, done that. We were no longer new parents; we were experienced, but jaded, tired and lazier. The parenting novelty was gone. Here are some examples of what I mean. Introducing Solid Foods Taking Pictures (Pre Digital Camera Days) After Dinner Kindergarten At first glance you would think our younger daughter got the short end of the stick. Yet, that was not the case. Although Lottie and I were jaded and tired by the time she came around, she benefited in many other ways. We gave her independence earlier, and we were not as over-protective as we were with our first daughter. But the important things were the same for both girls. We always had dinner together as a family, we set the same standards of acceptable behavior, we needed to know who their friends were, and they both knew school work was their number one priority. And in the end, both girls turned out terrific! Circling back to the start of this entry, and my looking in the mirror. I had minor surgery this week to remove a precancerous hunk of flesh on my chest, which is why I took a closer look at myself, and might have looked older and a bit drained. Seeing myself like that, and the pain I was feeling from the stitches in my chest, reminded me our time is limited. It made me think about my journey from being a dumb bratty, stupid kid to a responsible older, bratty adult (some things don't change). So, what do I think about my journey? I realize getting old is inevitable. We all get older every single day. To me, that is not a bad thing. At times it sucks to be old, but I try to make the best of it, and to keep moving forward. I find it is important to look back, but not with regrets, not with despair, and not wishing things went differently. When I think of my journey I remember the good and bad. I remind myself life is far from perfect and I try to learn from all the mistakes I made along the way. In the end, I look forward--I look forward to the future, and I hope the best is yet to come. And if not, so it goes! So there it is. A slice out of my life. I hope you enjoyed getting to know me, and learn I am not your man if you ever get a head wound. Disclaimer: Please be advised, I did take some liberties in this piece and embellish the truth a bit, (mostly at Lottie's expense), but believe it or not, the head gash story was true. Next time, more Florida transition stuff. And now, a few new pictures to check out. Howie... The early days of Lottie and Howie's journey. Howie already wearing a Florida appropriate suit! Lottie and our friend Rose. Last picture taken in our Maryland backyard. Shot the day we moved to Florida. Passing tourist trap, South Of The Border, as we drive ourselves to our new home in Florida. Our girls, Emily and Jennifer, with Lottie visiting us shortly after we moved to Florida. A new home with a new kitchen means Howie must perfect a new pizza. Howie tests three new pizza recipes and uses some extra dough to make a pair of garlic knots. The journey continues! January 15 2022 So far this blog has been about my, and Lottie's, transition to Florida. I am continuing along that line with this entry. And after the entry are a few more pictures. Moving to a new place after living for 39 years in the same home is far from easy. Leaving your home, relatives and friends to start fresh in a place far away is a challenge. Packing up a lifetime of belongings to move interstate is a daunting experience. Leaving friends and family is hard. Starting over is scary. And although you feel that you made the right decision to move, there is always doubt it may not be what you expect. Lottie and I are lucky. We had some hiccups along the way, but overall our move went relatively smooth. It was sad leaving our friends and family behind, but in our short time here we have met many wonderful people, and I do not use that phrase lightly. For the most part people are warm, friendly and giving of themselves. Granted, we have run into a few exceptions, but they are far and few between. We are getting to know people from all over the country. One day we are hanging out with people that grew up where we grew up and attended the same schools. The next day we are having wine and cheese with our new friend, an artist from Hawaii. We have met people from all walks of life, religions and ethnicities. And accents--there are so many different accents here...New York, Boston, Minnesotan, Michigan, Illinois and so many more. Until I moved here I didn't realize that so many different accents existed. We expected to like this new way of life, what we did not expect was how much we would like it. We moved here from Maryland, but our roots are New York. I, more than Lottie, was a jaded New Yorker who grew up having attitude, and a stone cold face. I did not smile. You don't walk the streets of New York, or ride the subway smiling. If you smiled at someone where I grew up they would look at you and ask, (pardon my French) what the fuck are you smiling about? Something funny here? But now I smile. Everyone smiles. People are nice, helpful and friendly. It is real. It is genuine. It is terrific. It is infectious. And not only do people smile, they wave and they actually say hello as they pass you in the street. And there is good reason for the happy attitude. No, not drugs...maybe alcohol (I recently found out that many of the women I know don't have water in the thermoses they carry), but basically it is because we live in a damn great resort in sunny Florida. But wait, there's more. Not only is it sunny, with beautiful blue skies and lovely puffy clouds, the sun even sets about a half hour later here than it did up north. But one thing it is not--it is not always hot in central Florida. My brother-in-law, Steve, and my sister-in-law, Aggie, were visiting us last week. I felt bad because the weather recently got cold. While they visited us, one night the temperature dipped to a low of 52 degrees and a daytime high of only 73 degrees. For Steve and Aggie it was anything, but cold. That same day in their home town of Niskayuna, New York, the day time high was 16 degrees, and the low was 4 degrees. I felt chilly that day, but Steve--he was ecstatic he could wear shorts and sandels in January. So I ask, is "cold" a relative term, or am I becoming a typical old Floridian man who gets chilly if it isn't at least 90 degrees? (Quick update, I checked the weather this morning because our bocci game is cancelled when it's less than 50 degrees outside. Fortunately, it was 52 degrees, and bocci went on as planned. I also checked Steve's weather in Niskayuna at the same time and it was MINUS FOUR, and that was without the wind chill factor. Yikes!) Anyway, despite the relative cold last week, we did go to the pool one afternoon. Going into the pool wasn't too bad, but getting out of the pool was an entirely different story. I was so cold my goosebumps got goosebumps (yes, you may groan). So, how do people do it? How do they go swimming in such cold weather? Growing up in Coney Island I remember watching the Coney Island Polar Bear Club (the oldest winter swimming organization in the United States) do their traditional jump into the ocean on New Year's Day when I was a child. That plunge is quick. They jump into the ocean. Dive under the water. And run back out quickly into a towel. At least, that's how it was when I was a child. But here, where we live now, there are people that jump into the pool, and stay in for more than an hour no matter how cold it is outside. In fact, I know a man who not only goes to the pool EVERYDAY regardless of outdoor temperature, but he is already in the pool when I start playing pickleball at 7:30 AM. He has been in the pool when it is in the low 40s outside, and when he gets out it isn't much warmer. As he is swimming I am playing ball wearing sweat pants and a sweat shirt. One time, I was even wearing gloves...that's how chilly it was outside. When I see him traipse out of the water only wearing bathing trunks I shiver. Brr...I am freezing my butt off just thinking about it. I guess I did become that old man who needs a sweater if it isn't 90 degees! Anyway, I heard that the next few days are going to be cold here. Well, cold for Florida that is. Daytime highs will be in the low 60s, and nighttime lows in the 30s. Yes, it goes down to the 30s in Central Florida. How will I handle the cold? When the cold hits I will tell myself, "At least I am not in Niskayuna." Sorry Steve :-) Baby alligator climbing bank of pond by bocci court. Our guest room for those of you that come to visit. Japanese drum corp doing an afternoon performance in our village center. January 5 2022 What a difference one year makes. No, this is not a political rant. Just a look back. A year ago I was quarantining at home, as was nearly everyone I knew. I was entertaining myself by sending off periodic emails to friends and family with "See The Difference" puzzles I created. Hopefully, most of the recipients enjoyed my emails, and the challenge of the puzzles. And quite naturally, on January 6, 2021 I took a screen shot of the events going on in Washington DC and used it as my puzzle of the week. The puzzle is below. A year ago I also spent a lot of time in the basement playing drums, and recording music in collaboration with my brother-in-law, Steve. And of course I spent a lot of time with Lottie playing games, watching television, cooking and baking and eating and drinking...and drinking, and drinking. Anyway, a year has passed. In so many respects the year flew by, yet last January, February and March seems like such a long, long time ago. The world has changed so much during the past year. And in my opinion, not for the better. I don't care who you are, or what you believe, I have a feeling a shit storm is coming that will effect us all in one way or another. That is why, I sit here a year later to tell you, despite all the changes going on in the world around me, and the changes I made to my life, I still spend a lot of time with Lottie playing games, watching television, cooking and baking and eating and drinking...and drinking, and drinking. In fact, let's add a couple more "and drinking" into the equation. Happy New Year One And All. Let's enjoy it while we can! Here is the "See The Difference" puzzle I put together last year. There are ten differences. Can you find them all? And below the puzzle are a few more pictures for you to see.
Holiday Time In Our Community We Don't Have Snow But We Do Have Some Pretty Houses - Every House In This Cul-De-Sac Was Decked Out At Holiday Time Yes, Every House In This Cul-De-Sac Was Decked Out At Holiday Time, Even The Jewish Ones Lemon Grove Was A Site To Be Seen DECEMBER 20 2021 Two nights ago I went outside on my lanai (words I never dreamed I would utter) and watched a Space X Rocket blast off, to put a satellite into orbit. It is kind of cool to watch a rocket go up into space through binoculars, even from our distant vantage point. And earlier this evening I was playing pickleball and became distracted because as I gazed up I saw the full moon perfectly framed by the hanging leaves of a tall palm tree. As a New York City boy, who grew up in "the projects", and now lives in a picturesque Floridian community, I often quote Dorothy's line from The Wizard Of Oz, and say to myself, "We are not in Kansas anymore!" Although I am not a world traveler, I have been around. I have visited many major cities in the United States, and have traveled outside the country as well. I have learned to appreciate, and soak in the wonder of the many places I have been fortunate to visit. I don't take anything for granted. I know I am lucky to be living such a nice life, and often wonder when will it all end. I am not jaded, and have never been. When my girls were young I tried to instill in them an appreciation of the world around them, for the many materialistic things they had at their disposal, and the experiences Lottie and I were able to give them. I remember standing with them at Times Square in New York City when they were children. I am not sure where we were going at the time, probably to see a show on Broadway, but I made them stop for a moment, and look around. "This" I told them "is probably one of the most famous streets in the world." "People all over the world have seen it in movies, on news reports, and of course at New Year's Eve, and they can only dream of being here, but here you are, you are here, one of the most famous streets in the world. Look around and appreciate it. There is no other place like it. Do not take it for granted." They can correct me if I am wrong, but I believe they have grown up appreciating the lessons Lottie and I tried to teach them many years ago. They are both well adjusted adults living within their means, who have not only worked hard to get what they have today, but do not take what they have for granted. Which also sums me up in a nutshell. I do not take anything for granted. Superficially I can say that I have been lucky to walk the streets of New York, to see great rock bands such as Led Zeppelin at concerts at the Fillmore East, to visit world famous museums and see artwork others only see in books, to sit a few feet away from jazz greats including Herbie Hancock and Rahsaan Roland Kirk when they performed at the Village Vanguard, and of course I was privileged enough to see outstanding musicals on Broadway such as A Chorus Line (original and Revival), Rent and Moulin Rouge. But life is more than hedonistic guilty pleasures. I also have had the pleasure of living an idyllic suburban life in Maryland with Lottie, raising two wonderful daughters in a safe nurturing community. During my journey I was fortunate to meet some very special people in all my walks of my life from childhood to current day. That is not to say my life was not void of heartache and despair. I have skeletons in my closet that I am ashamed of and I have done embarrassing things. I even had an experience that haunted me for much of my adult life. Yet, I look at my journey as a good one. I embrace what I have, and I often wonder why I am one of the lucky ones? When you consider there are several billion people on this planet that struggle to meet basic needs such as sanitation, food, water, electricity, education, and for every 1,000 children born in the world, 39 will die before they turn five years old from preventable diseases, how can we not consider ourselves one of the lucky ones? So, I may not have the wealth of a famous movie star, the health of a young athlete...or even the wealth and health of many people I know...I am still lucky, as is everyone I know. We don't wonder where our next clean glass of water will come from or if we will have enough food to eat next week. But that is a stark reality for BILLIONS of people that share this planet with us. No two ways about it, we are lucky. I am writing this because I know quite a few people who are having issues coping with some stresses of life. The situations and heartaches are real from the loss of a loved one, to caring for a sick relative, to navigating a complex social conflict, to missing family, and friends from the past. And I am having issues I need to resolve as well. All of the stress, pain, fears, and other internal turmoil we are experiencing is real, but nothing we are experiencing is the end of the world. I am not minimizing any of it when I say I hope we all can put our issues into the proper perspective. I know it is easier said than done, but try to be positive and proactive, and don't take life too seriously. Appreciate what you have, and reach out for the support you can get from friends and family. Continue your journey forward, and don't get stuck in the mud of despair. We are all very lucky for what we have in our lives. There are many people who wish they had our problems, particularly the 25,000 people who will die from hunger and related causes today, tomorrow and everyday thereafter. Yes, according the the United Nations, 25,000 people die of hunger each day. So, all things considered, we are quite fortunate to have the problems we are experiencing. In summary, if you are reading this and recognize yourself, know that Lottie and I are here for you. If there is anything we can do to help just let us know. DECEMBER 6 2021 Since Lottie and I relocated from Maryland to Florida people think we are living a great exciting life. Yes, we are enjoying ourselves, but that has more to do with being fully retired than living in Florida. Before retiring we had obligations and responsibilities that were often time sensitive. We owned our own business and needed to be available for customers, vendors, and delivery people. We could not indulge our whims because we were still working. But now, we can pick ourselves up at the drop of a hat and do what we want, when we want to do it. That is the pleasure of retirement. Yes, we are doing things that we never did before, such as entering a pickleball tournament, playing bocce, getting together with new friends for cocktails, and making weekly trips to Disney World, but we are also making regular runs to the doctor, supermarket and such. And at night, we often get caught in the time suck of of watching Youtube videos. Lottie And Howie Didn't Look This Happy AFTER The Pickleball Tournament Our life has not changed dramatically, but we are happier. The weather is nicer than it was in Maryland (I read it may snow in two days back in Maryland, but here it will be sunny with a high of 85 degrees), and like I said earlier we are fully retired, so we have more time at our disposal, which is why we can do things like make weekly runs to Disney World. Weekly runs? Yep! Approaching The Magic Kingdom By Ferry By being a Florida resident we are able, and did, get annual passes, which includes Park Hopping, Free Parking and discounts on food in the park for LESS than a non Florida resident pays for a two day ticket with the Park Hopping option. It is a great deal for us, especially since we can leave our house and be in one of the four parks 45 minutes later. Do we get bored of going to Disney so often? So far, so good. Each time we go we make it a different experience...go in the afternoon to stroll around, take in the nice weather, see a few shows, do some people watching and see the fireworks at Epcot, or go in the morning to Hollywood Studios to hit some popular rides and get home before traffic, or go with friends and spend the day socializing as we mosey along at a slow pace through Animal Kingdom, or go equipped with cameras to do a photo shoot in Magic Kingdom. It is never the same. It is always different, and nice, and a perfect place to soak in the nice Central Florida weather this time of the year. Visiting Animal Kingdom With New Floridian Friends Unfortunately, as I said earlier our life isn't all fun and games. For instance, as I write this I am sick. I won't get into the messy details, but I am home-bound on antibiotics fighting a nasty bacterial infection. Hopefully I will be up and about in a few days and can go back to enjoying my new life here in Florida. In the meantime, here are a few more pictures to end this entry. Some of the pictures were taken when our girls came to visit for Thanksgiving and a few are from Disney. I hope you enjoy them. Lottie Is Looking Forward To The Evening's Fireworks Display The Fireworks Show Did Not Disappoint Wish I Had Some More Of That Dinner--And Yes, That Is The Same Shirt From Before Picture Of The Girls Taking Pictures Of Each Other Taking Pictures ---- OCTOBER 2021 Hey! Let me start by saying, the thing I hate most about updating people on my, and Lottie's life, is that often times it seems like I am bragging, and that is very far from the truth. What we are doing is great for us, and hopefully what you are doing is great for you. A friend sent me an email, which ended, "...I will continue to send you my boring emails about how I’m not doing anything exciting. My retirement is full of lackluster activities which I actually like." First off, hearing from friends and their lives is never boring to me. I am always excited to hear what my friends are doing. Also, if you like lackluster, and that is what you are experiencing, then you are doing what you like. No need to apologize for it. I am glad to hear you are happy, that is the bottom line. Right now it is two in the afternoon, and it is a beautiful day with lots of sun and the temperature tipping 90 degrees. I could be laying in the shade on a lounge chair by my neighborhood pool, which is a five minute bike ride away and always empty, sipping a gin and tonic as I listen to music on my head set between dunks into the water...instead I am in the house writing this blog. That is what is making me happy. Some people like watching sports, some going to a movie, some taking a cruise, some hanging with grandchildren...if you are doing what you like--power to you!
I live in a community that does all of my yard work. It is great. No mowing in the hot Florida sun. And it can get real hot. But it is funny, Lottie and I were talking the other day, and we both said we miss doing yard work. It felt good to go out in the morning and pull weeds, trim bushes and yes, even mow the lawn. As I get older, I am glad I don't need to do that anymore, but yet, I still miss it even though I would never be able to keep our property looking as good as it does now.
Simple stuff, is sometimes the best stuff. And some of the stuff we have been doing is simple stuff. For instance, yesterday Lottie and I went on an adventure to a supermarket. Yep, a supermarket. We live in a gated, over 55 community, in the town of Poinciana, which has such a huge Puerto Rican population that according to Wikipedia it is often called "Little Puerto Rico" in Florida. I always wanted to visit Puerto Rico, so I guess in a way I made it there! Anyway, if you live in New York City and go to Canal Street and walk the streets of Chinatown, you will come across Chinese markets, old school butcher shops, fish stands and such, which cater to the local neighborhood population. In Poinciana you will find supermarkets, butcher chops, produce stores and fish markets that target the Puerto Rican and other Hispanic families that comprise over 50% of the local population. And the adventure we went on, was to one of those supermarkets. We had passed by the Zocalo Supermarket a number of times on our many outings, but yesterday our outing was to Zocalo Supermarket to see what different types of things we would find there. What we didn't expect to find was a real old school butcher shop, and fish stand in the back of the store with great looking meats and fish at really decent prices. We went to scope it out for the future, but wound up buying some great looking pork chops, T-Bone steaks and shrimp. Add to that dried yellow split peas (for soup), coarse cornmeal, and home made flour tortillas they make right in the supermarket (which we used as wraps for our home made shrimp and chicken fajitas, and then as wraps for our home made moo-shu chicken), AND then--best of all--we discovered the Mexican bakery and fast food restaurant in the supermarket featuring all types of freshly made dishes, which the locals were gobbling up! We didn't eat any prepared food (we ate before going to the supermarket), but we will next time. Although we didn't throw down any burritos or enchiladas, we did bring home a bunch of freshly baked Mexican pastries and bread. What we didn't know was, one of the breads we bought was actually a Jalapeno Cheese Roll--what a delightful surprise--jalapenos and cream cheese embedded in the middle of the roll--I don't really like cream cheese, but this was quite good. The ratio of bread-heat-cheese was perfect. It was a nice unexpected surprise. But life hasn't been all shopping and eating. We bought season passes to Disney (we are only 45 minutes away), and have gone twice so far. Our first visit was to the Magic Kingdom, and our second visit was to Epcot. This is one of the best times to go to Disney...the weather isn't stifling hot, the crowds are non existent because of the time of year, and Disney is limiting attendance to the parks. Although you need to mask-up in the attractions and waiting on indoor lines, it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. In fact, when we were in crowds outdoors, such as for the fireworks shows, or waiting to get food and wine at the many kiosks at Epcot's International Food And Wine Festival we masked-up even though it wasn't required. Talking about the Food And Wine Festival, we never knew that drinking your way around the world at Epcot was a thing that MANY people do. You can tell when a group is drinking their way around the world because they are a happy group, often loud (but not obnoxious), with glassy eyes and a waddle in their walk. We saw groups of more than twelve people down to couples such as a mom and daughter, and two friends that just turned 21. Another sign people are drinking their way around the world are the shirts many of them wear that say "Drinking My Way Around The World" LOL! Lottie and I did not drink our way around the world in case you were wondering. That is not to say we didn't have a drink or two. We were more interested in the food. My favorite dish was the warm beignet filled with three cheeses, which was basically a warm sweet doughnut, filled with three cheeses and slightly hardened melted cheese on top. I thought a beignet was a roll, had I known it was a doughnut I would not have ordered it, but I am glad I did--it was great. I would not have thought a cheese filled doughnut would be the best thing I ate all day at Disney. In fact, I would have thought it was a repulsive combination. I guess you can't judge a book by its cover. And Lottie's favorite was a croissant stuffed with escargot and topped with garlic/parsley butter. The International Food And Wine Festival does not feature the healthiest foods to say the least. We also bought a golf cart to get around the community. Our community is quite big. There is an awesome clubhouse about a mile from our house. Although we have walked to it, we generally will ride to it by bike. But the main clubhouse and activity center is a few miles from our house. Although we have ridden there by bike, it is a rough ride back after playing a few hours of pickleball in the hot sun. So, we decided a golf cart is the way to go. At first it was scary to drive that sucker--it has such a different feel than a car--but now we are used to it, and it is a great way to travel around the development. You can drive your cart in the street, or on the pavement. We do both, depending where we are going. It is a fun way to travel. But it is still quite surreal to see carts everywhere you go...some parking lots are for carts only, and have small, marked lined spaces that take some getting used to. When we drive our cart we feel like we are at Hershey Park riding the antique car ride, except the cart goes a little faster. Our cart has a max speed of 25mph, which is considered fast for a golf cart.
Besides the golf cart, car, and bikes, we also do a bit of walking. Being ex-New Yorker's we like to walk. New York was a walking town, and whenever we returned to New York that was one of the things we liked best...walking here and there, and it wasn't walking for the sake of walking, it was always with a purpose. When we lived in Maryland, generally, the only time we walked was when we went out specifically to walk. And there weren't many nice places to walk in our immediate area. We finally discovered a great hidden trail, and walking path right near our house, after 39 years of living there, but we moved shortly thereafter. Go figure. Although it has been a little too hot to do much walking, our new neighborhood is a lovely place to take a walk. We have sweet cookie cutter houses, but they each have their own look and feel with well manicured lawns and flower beds. There are also walking/biking/cart paths that take you past lakes, open fields, and a lot of pretty preserves. But just walking up and down the residential streets is pretty too. It is a lovely place to walk day or night no matter where you are in the community. And the palm trees. Got to love the palm trees. Some homes have dwarf palm trees, others have tall ones. I was shocked to learn there were more than two and a half thousand different types of palm trees--I thought a palm tree was a palm tree. We have a few dwarf palms that look quite pretty from our bistro table inside our screened in porch. But of course, for us, the main attractions right now are the pool, pickleball and bocce. Yep, I can't believe I really like bocce. In fact, tonight is bocce night! But do keep in mind, life is not all fun and games. We spent more time furniture shopping than I like. We have had issues with the lawn's sprinkler system not working correctly and the lawn service being non-responsive at first, and we had to find new health plans and doctors--I am happy with the health plan I selected, but not crazy with the doctor--I think I will be finding a new one really soon. We have met a lot of people and made some friends so overall, we can't complain. Life is good, and we hope you can say the same. I will add to this blog in a few weeks and keep you updated. For now, just a few more pics. Our Local Pool. Never crowded. And quite lovely! Emily and Matt hanging with Lottie in the shade at the pool. Nothing like sunset pickleball. Pretty sky, and when the sun goes down, the lights go on. Pick your court, pick your court. Over a dozen to choose from. Lottie has become a pickleball beast. And you should see her at bocce too! I hope you enjoyed the blog. And I further hope you click here and hear some of my music. |